aroflux rant / being on the aromantic spectrum

[ serious little, kinda negative rant thing ]

"I wanna be aromantic, asexual, aroflux, cupioromantic, etc!" no you don't.

geniuely i always have love on my mind. and when I mean "love," I mean like romance-related stuff. I just love romance period! I love writing romance stories, watching rom-coms, reading stories about love and etc, I just love it. but its hard for me to experience that stuff like.. on my own. ifykwim

In my life, I've only been in 3 relationships, and they all didn't last long because I wasn't sure if it would work out, and if I really liked them that way. lately, I've been thinking about relationships, because I swear y'all, EVERYONE is dating SOMEONE in highschool. i'm always surronded by couples, and I often find myself wondering:

"do I want that too?"

but its like.. when I'm given the opportunity,,, I just .. kind back out? like it sounds lovely, but I just get anxious honestly, and it feels like a lot of work to devote myself to someone im not even sure if I reciprocate their feelings with. I know every person has their own experience in the aromantic spectrum, but nowadays I find myself experiencing cupioromantic tendices. The problem is though is that label just doesn't really fit, because I'm always changing.

So I'm glad I found out that aroflux ( and aceflux and aroaceflux ) is a thing, but I'm kinda disappointed because thast exactly how I identify as and I don't know what to do about it

thank you for coming to my Ted talk pookies

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