normal people getting a prostate exam: oh god- oh fuck. why'd that make me hard
vs me getting a prostate exam: little to the left. higher. higher- oh! there you go. alright funs over- i squeeze my ass on his finger, youre not goin anywhere buddy. i scan his fingerprints, 87% match. good enough. i grab him, pin him against the wall, WHERE WERE YOU ON 9/11??? thats right. we're saving 9/11 this episode. you dont wanna tell me, thats fine. i rip off his pants, analyze his bush- DAMN IT! it's not the one responsible for 9/11. i guess its your lucky day. i gett a call, WHO IS THIS?! you keep poking around, youre not gonna like what youll find. i said WHO IS THIS??? they hang up. drivers trace the call and- PSSHT FUCK!!! that asshole put a bomb in my asshole. i suit myself up, robert pattinson what the hell are you doing here?? saving your ass. yeah, well you missed the show 20 dudes pull up. thats what you meant. me and rob- i dap him up- me and rob go to work fucking slicing those motherfukcers i tie those dudes dicks together slam em together, does an epic backflip ROB USE MY DICK AS A SNIPER! ill start a diversion. i start busting it down fucking sexually distracting them with my giration, PULL THE TRIGGER COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE THE SHOT, ROB! he wont do it, I DO IT MYSELF! you- youre DRUNK! DONT TELL ME THE ODDS! fssh! what the fuck- fssh! he ties me down with his bush- IT WAS YOU! YOUR BUSH DID 9/11??? I LOVED YOU LIKE A BROTHER MAN- WHY??? UUURGRHH he says if you wanna catch me youll have to catch your wife first, he flies away and drops florence from twenty stories- NO! FFSH- i catch her with my dick- tie it up, drop down, but i was too late. she broke her neck. FUCK- NO, FLORENCE NO-!!! damn it... im gonna have to KILL HIM BEFORE HE DOES THIS! i time travel back to 9/11, PPPPRRRT catch the first tower



























































holy notification jumpscare
@fifteen (macintosh-offical) die