I miss being your daughter

So im not doing ok.

My birthday's coming up. I miss the relationship I used to have with my dad. I miss my dad. I really miss my dad. I miss when he knew how to love me. And I've gone and ruined it because I can't be a girl. I know it's not my fault. I know my dad loves me. I just really miss my dad. He's so stressed about everything and I just want to be a kid again. I want him to love me like he used to. I want to hug him when he comes home without it being awkward. I want to watch movies with him. I want to show him my art. I want to talk with him about stupid things. I want to laugh at dumb jokes with him. I want to set up Halloween decorations like we used to. I want to see him excited when he comes home. I want him to be happy around me. I want to love him like I did when I was a little kid and it just hurts. And I hate it. And I miss him. I really fucking miss my dad.

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