i'm sorry, for everything

I am so, so sorry.
That's the one thing that I'm horrible at saying to people who clearly deserve to hear it.
I'm sorry for pushing you away,
and I don't expect a second chance.
As much as I've come to miss you, no amount of blood on the floor could ever make me want to see you again.
I was never lying when I told you that I'd always have a piece in my heart that still felt for you.
And honestly, I wish I was.

Even if a second chance finds me,
I'm scared.
Scared, of the thought that I'm better off gone.
Scared of you.