Ok, this has been the most doubt I had in my entire life ever about myself and my habits because I kinda had my online interaction roots coming from Spore and how I grew up a long time ago. I know I was just a kid but I now have the intellect and abilities to control myself, i just need to ground myself for a moment here cuz it was a little overwhelming tbh, cuz I have done really terrible things such as gatekeeping on doing certain design to only do creepy stuff, constantly doing this one kink i had with gluttoby in art, trolling and just kinda being terrible in general, i have been steadily improving, I know I may fall off, but I don't want to fall to hard, if you'd like to talk about it in a conversation, then we can talk about it. Also I should've known to look out for warnings too though cuz that might've been worse, and I wanna try harder not to be a terrible person now.

Izzy-0 wants to stay skinny even when eating so much food now since that ban I had from a jam I used to go to plus she's mad at Izzy Pastel Art due to the actions of gluttony may have done damage here.

Izzy-0: HYPER, I thought you PROMISED not the use that fat f#ck in the jams!
Izzy Pastel Art is now tied to a chair from Izzy-0
Izzy-0: now I have to take her place now so uuhh also get out Mushik sometime btw.

just draw whatever you want no NSFW + look at trigger warning in my bio

just draw whatever you want no NSFW + look at trigger warning in my bio

Still crazy lol

(OC by @IAtheOsomatsusanfan aka Rainbow_IA)

Actually i think that the ban combined with the latte mocha freeze genuinely screwed me up

I will be going to costco yippee

I'm already feeling a little better now ever since I cried in bed last night after realizing this, I know when to be careful next time and I'll warn you of things I may do if I get too comfortable doing so, it's just that being socially rejected for me just kinda hits too hard when I realize what I did to others.

I just had a conversation with my mom about this situation, about how I got banned and explaining some context to her about this topic and my characters. So, by what she said in my own words is that she told me that I probably wasn't aware or didn't understand what I was doing since I am autistic and still at a young age, I'm not trying to use that as an excuse as I said I'm very sorry for making that type of content in a jam were most people often go to as I am aware I could make people uncomfortable, so I am likely trying to change ways I interact with other people and very much likely minors as I don't want to have my reputation tainted by my obsession with gluttony. So I refuse to be a gut bloater anymore like this, so I'm only doing this in much more private spaces if you do like to see or are comfortable seeing yourself, if not, you don't have to.

Okay, I have fully realized the full extent of this morality thing as I get older since I don't want to be called things I don't want to be called and possibly damage my reputation, so I may have to lay off the gluttony thing entirely some day. I'm so sorry for what I've done, so I don't think I'll be using certain characters anymore, not even Greedy Gus, Izzy's greedy stomach despite it being associated with me. I'll use the version of Izzy that's not hunger corrupt as my default just in case as I don't want to disturb people who see things in places the most often.

(btw this is kinda a vent now so uhh)
I do know I have full potential to make something great, but I haven't been as motivated to make something impressive lately since I've been only doodling about cheese creatures I made and rotting in the "Cheese World" where constant expanding gluttony happens everywhere with cheese creatures devouring everything and the cheese itself that Izzy and I eat and I am eating the macaroni and cheese to comfort myself, people treat me like I made the worst sin of my entire life, sure, it's fine to have an reaction like this if you're sensitive to anything uncomfortable, but it's not like I'd be coming back again, even when you try to forgive me for my actions of having Izzy's ever encreasing biomass expand outward and taking up in spaces no one wants to see, I'm will not blame you or myself, never you, I'd probably blame myself, but I'm just not feeling good about interacting with anyone. It almost feels like I cannot separate my way of appetite from my identity, my soul, you probably spoken to me that was unspoken that the gluttony and appetite I found comfort in was the monster I could not control, which may be true. I feel like it's possible by 10 percent, but I really don't want to waste my life over this dispair and rejection, I know it happens, but I don't want to restrict myself all the time from everyone I meet, but I guess too many people will stumble upon the certain sin of gluttony I commit in drawing and kick me out or prey upon me.

Okay, I'm deciding that I'm no longer going to popular jams due to me being banned from one of them, I'm not going to specify one because I feel like that's just going to be like calling out at someone so I will not talk about this further and sit in that feeling since I am very sociable and well mannered, it's just that it kinda falls apart when I get too comfortable with doing certain things that may make someone that are sensitive to those things uncomfortable. So for now on, I will be either only be on jams with people who would accept and are comfortable around odd body morphing, gore, etc. or will be hosting drawing boards privately as I have been emotionally hurt by this and I will refuse to engage in popluar areas.

pretty sure Izzy has gone this far (uhhh should someone call Alolan? (Izzy's boyfriend))

If y'all wanna join my art space, you can, but I gotta make sure I can trust you as a friend btw. I have the invite link.

Izzy got shot, uh oh. (she's not dead btw, she's fine, kinda)

yeah she likes girls too (my version of Izzy is kinda a lesbian btw)

lovely art

thanks for the fanart btw ^^

(btw the rainbow one is Izzy Art heroson, also an OC I have made variants out of and is originally made by @IAtheOsomatsusanfan )

btw Izzy is just a cat lmao

thanks Bb for the fanart!