its been five months, like anyones coutning. Who cares if I'm alive or dead. What if I just dissaperead would anyone truly care.
joined on
Oct 10, 2024
21
posts
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Gallery
about
hEyyyYyyY...
ABOUT: My name is h a n s o l. i'm nonbinary (which means I don't feel like a girl or boy), i'm toric (which basically means I'm attracted to boy/men, but...), i'm also aro-ace (which means I barely feel romantic or sexual attractions.
STATUS: single but crushing on this boy (I've liked him since forever, second grade)
I just got out of a relationship, and it was hard on me, so I guess my art may express that a bit.. I don't know.
STRUGGLES: I struggle with a lot of things I don't know the name for, so tell me if you know any of them. I struggle with:
the fear of losing everyone suddenly
the fear everyone is judging me quietly
the fear no one likes me and my friends are just nice to me because I have no friends
the fear of dying and no one will care
the fear I'll love someone so much that when (if) they leave I die.
SoOooOOoOOoOOoOoOO
that was deep -deeeeeeep breath-
Anyways, I would love it if you follow me and look at my art, even if it's just to comment "this is ugly" I love feedback and I think I need it.
ABOUT ME: Some more things about me, because I love over sharing on the internet ( that was sarcasm )
my aesthetic is grunge and streetwear
my room DEFINITELY doesn't express me, but i'm working on it
I love reading and writing and poetry
I'm getting into journaling
I'm an EXTROvert, unless I don't want to be
I always carry around my airpods (even in school 
rebel vibes)
Do NOT disturb me when I have my airpods in ( side yes some of my friends )
I'm a BAND KID and yes I'm a nerd 
I'm a percussionist and play the PIANO 
my parents push me a lotttttt
I hate my parents sometimes
I'm sarcastic (sometimes to a fault)
I can't sleep at all
Ok, that was a LOT, so let's go onto the bad things about me:
I'm mean even though sometimes I don't want to be, it's just being mean is the only way people will leave me alone and not see all of the bad things about me, right?
I have depression, and will sometimes go into these states, where I don't listen to anyone and I don't smile, and I'm a horrible person. I know having depression isn't really an excuse but, it feels like sometimes I wish people would understand that sometimes it's not my fault I'm not always smiling...
I feel like if I stop smiling people will see the real me and hate me, so even if I want to die on the inside, I smile so people don't worry about me
I have anxiety, of people leaving me, of dying and no one cares, of loving someone so much that I can't do anything else.
I don't tell anyone my secrets or what I actually think, because than they have something that's mine, and I'm scared they are going to use it on me.
I only just recently told someone my past crush and gave them the permission to tell this other person, I thought they understood never to talk about it because of my anxiety, but then in the middle of class this guy asks me so loudly Infront of my friends, "WHO IS (crushes name)" so now I don't trust anyone.
ANyWays, love y'all and thanks for reading my longa$$ intro page, and if you're reading this and we have anything in common, PLEASE follow me!
~updated April 26, 2026 11:15 pm
hEyyyYyyY...
ABOUT: My name is h a n s o l. i'm nonbinary (which means I don't feel like a girl or boy), i'm toric (which basically means I'm attracted to boy/men, but...), i'm also aro-ace (which means I barely feel romantic or sexual attractions.
STATUS: single but crushing on this boy (I've liked him since forever, second grade)
I just got out of a relationship, and it was hard on me, so I guess my art may express that a bit.. I don't know.
STRUGGLES: I struggle with a lot of things I don't know the name for, so tell me if you know any of them. I struggle with:
the fear of losing everyone suddenly
the fear everyone is judging me quietly
the fear no one likes me and my friends are just nice to me because I have no friends
the fear of dying and no one will care
the fear I'll love someone so much that when (if) they leave I die.
SoOooOOoOOoOOoOoOO
that was deep -deeeeeeep breath-
Anyways, I would love it if you follow me and look at my art, even if it's just to comment "this is ugly" I love feedback and I think I need it.
ABOUT ME: Some more things about me, because I love over sharing on the internet ( that was sarcasm )
my aesthetic is grunge and streetwear
my room DEFINITELY doesn't express me, but i'm working on it
I love reading and writing and poetry
I'm getting into journaling
I'm an EXTROvert, unless I don't want to be
I always carry around my airpods (even in school rebel vibes)
Do NOT disturb me when I have my airpods in ( side yes some of my friends )
I'm a BAND KID and yes I'm a nerd
I'm a percussionist and play the PIANO
my parents push me a lotttttt
I hate my parents sometimes
I'm sarcastic (sometimes to a fault)
I can't sleep at all
Ok, that was a LOT, so let's go onto the bad things about me:
I'm mean even though sometimes I don't want to be, it's just being mean is the only way people will leave me alone and not see all of the bad things about me, right?
I have depression, and will sometimes go into these states, where I don't listen to anyone and I don't smile, and I'm a horrible person. I know having depression isn't really an excuse but, it feels like sometimes I wish people would understand that sometimes it's not my fault I'm not always smiling...
I feel like if I stop smiling people will see the real me and hate me, so even if I want to die on the inside, I smile so people don't worry about me
I have anxiety, of people leaving me, of dying and no one cares, of loving someone so much that I can't do anything else.
I don't tell anyone my secrets or what I actually think, because than they have something that's mine, and I'm scared they are going to use it on me.
I only just recently told someone my past crush and gave them the permission to tell this other person, I thought they understood never to talk about it because of my anxiety, but then in the middle of class this guy asks me so loudly Infront of my friends, "WHO IS (crushes name)" so now I don't trust anyone.
ANyWays, love y'all and thanks for reading my longa$$ intro page, and if you're reading this and we have anything in common, PLEASE follow me!
~updated April 26, 2026 11:15 pm
Hi, not sure who ( if anyone) will ever read this. I haven't posted anything in a While because I've been going through I rough patch of my life . Like right now, and how its 11:09 at night. I've been getting into the habit of drawing again, nut only traditionaly. Even writing this makes my eyes hurt because I'm looking at the screen.
whenever you post magma asks you, "what is on your mind?" and gives you 2500 characters to explain all that. I've already used 130 of those. (now 149) So how do I explain all of the complex things going through my head, all normal human things. How does one do that. This isn't a writing platform where you share your ideas, so maybe I should stop writing because no one gives af, right? I guess this peice makes sense. I'm really tired of pretending, to my friends and family, random people on the streets, everyone, that I'm fine. I wish people would say just ask, and actually want to hear an answer, not just ask because its polite to or shit. I guess this drawing that took me, what like, two minutes, explains my whole life. Even if the back isn't skin colored or there is no shading. Even though the "bullet wounds" are black, and gray stuff in coming out of one of them. Even though you're asking yourself why the blood is so shiny and a tiny drop is falling. And will be falling until this drawing is gone.
~1038/2500 Characters
Thank you to whoever’s art I used as inspiration! Some more doodles that I tweaked. 
YES GATO
used a base to draw this. different color halves idk what it is called. super pretty @Sadge hampter
Need to do more of these >:0
editing pinterest doodles a little
Yayyay
I'll make one with a gato
A basic leaf that I drew in 2 seconds for my friend Leaf 
Summons leaf
never finished…
Bananachocolat didn’t even finish one *cries*
emo
this is too relatable :/ awesome artz
lol I love itt
I like drawing on paper more than digital because I don't have an apple pencil or stylus can @Sadge hampter help me
I never finished.. maybe one day
YES MY CHILD
did anyone ask for a cursed pusheen. w/ Sadge Hampter
thank you
I like this
I'm obsessed with eyes and made my friends join me! sorry Sadge and sakura
This was a chaotic collab lol
Quick three minute sky
Night sky, three minutes, please don’t judge
The moon and star looks so perfect wth
The moon and star looks so perfect wth