im for tired of being told what to do and being yelled at and having to go to my dad's funeral, there is fun in funeral but that funeral was the most sorrow i have felt in the 13 years i have been alive, i wish someone knew my pain i wish i could see my dad even though we were always fighting. denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, i will never accept that my dad is dead never i miss him with all my heart and i wish he would have told me he loved me when he drove off but he didn't, i feel so guilty, guilty for asking for that one month at my mom guilty for not having a good relationship with my dad i just wish he was still here but at the same time i am so mad at him for not going to the doctor even when his parents told him to go but he never went and i feel like it is all my fault i miss those hugs i would get from him i miss those nights were we would watch movies and he would fall asleep but that is all gone, the sorrow has filled me with rage. i feel this immaculate sorrow everyday.
it is going to be an anolog horror