I miss... Butterfly 💔 Post

(2/2)
she says this will help me, and i started Scaristically outbursting on her about how shes so great for helping me and that shes so wonderful for all of this. I started to cry, and i started to vebt out my frustartions on hoe she always say that shes her to help, and like how shes there for me. But when ever she finds anything sensitive about me, she starts yelling at me, make my second gurss myself. she blames it on me like i can change but i cant, and the only thing she finds wrong finds my behavior is the fact that im accepting of queer people and that identify as queer

And i have random bursts or anger whenever i think about the future if my mom is gonna accept me. And i know she most likely never will. Whenever i think about the things she does because of my sexuality or traness i genuiely get so angry i start crying, i wish wasnt in this family
She always says that oh were african, and christian we cant be gay, oh we can mix our culture or what ever. Or taht being gaying im serving to gods oh my goshhhh.
she will never listen to me, becausr she always finds me childish because ima minor. She thinks minors cannot br mature, or handel hard topics.

She complains about how im never focused or how i barley do my work, but whenevr i tell her that maybe its because i have a fucking Nuerologicwl disability and i have a hard time getting on track, Espically since the modern eorld isnt built for neurodivergent peopel. SHR WONT LISTEN, AND I VE STRUGGLING SO MICH

So back on the story, she says that shes ginna put me in church everyday, and im gonna have to force to be in church eith her. And were going chruch every sunday.
Which is good i guess, but the only motif of this is cure my of my queerness. And its genuinely getting me so tired.

I was so close to self harming, i was so close to just finding a way to kill myself, but im glad im still standing in this fucking bitch because i will escape.

I

Btw the only way im on the phone is on my moms Inconginto mode on her phone.
And my mom is gonna give my phone during school so i call her to open the door.

So yeah ill explain more later