Ducktober

Update. I've been feeling a bit better. I've been prescribed with a beta blocker that helps me relax and not get traumtized by stuff. According to my doctors, and my mother who is a nurse, the reason why I would be feeling stressed and nervous all of a sudden, is because my heart would beat REALLY fast at random, as if I would be excersing. If you were to feel my heart right now, you would be asking me: "What have you been doing earlier?". This tricks my brain into feeling stressed, or ruminate.

Its a horrific feeling though. I would feel like my heart would explode whenever I'm so overstimulated or stressed out to the extreme. I am super thankful I have something to take, but even then, as it takes a while for it to work.

I can only take it once per day, or else I would faint or feel sick.

I'm going to be honest, and I want to keep this brief as much as I can. If anyone as any question or things to say to me in the comments, let me know. I don't mind dms either.

I feel like I'm suffering in the inside. I've been having bad chronic anxiety, depression, and rumination episodes, and its been happening to what almost feels like every day now. Its also been harder to find help from professional psychiatrists or anyone in that mental/behavior heath field.
I couldn't tell what exactly this uncomfortable feeling is and why, but is just didn't feel good at all.
(It could be my heart beating at an irregular pace due to my heart condition but im not sure.)

I feel like I've been suffering so much in this eternal deja-vu of distress and physical illness to the point I feel like the only way to stop my pain is if... I off myself. I'm serious.

Now, this plan will probably not happen since, I wanna try to my best to just.. not give up and remain strong. If I can with the amount of weight I'm carrying. But this isn't to say that I'm gonna forget about it. Or never look back into it. It could happen, yknow.

Guys. There might be a chance that... I could very well be jesus.

A sharp-witted detective and a glamorous cabaret spy share a tense, stylish beat before the next big lead breaks.

Characters: Detective Flint Marshall, and the lovely Mademoiselle Rouge

KISS ME, DAMNIT!! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.

New Character Alert!
I wanted to show off my more comic booky side of my style and character designs. Yup, im not all just cartoony pogostick style man

I've thought about posting posts here more often about my interests, my hobbies, my dreams, future endevours, my life, what I'm currently doing, etc. I guess kind of like a blog post or something. I'm doing it as a way to not only have people get to know me more on different points of views, but ALSO, MAINLY, as a way to help with my crippling anxiety and depression. It is a very serious issue for me, and I am desperate to try to find a way to feel better, even if it doesn't work all that well.

Anyways, I love talking my mouth off to people about all the kinds of things I love, and feel passionate for. I also just wanna preserve any of my opinions and thoughts so that I wouldn't have to constantly repeat myself by accident.

Its unknown how often I would be making posts like those. I thought maybe daily, but I kind of am a bit hesitant to keep my word on that.
Anyways, yeah. I think I might start on my first full on "blog" post soon.

who is elliot and elliotlover

Yes, you read that right. A SENTIENT. DUCK. BUTT.
Think about it..! Now stop thinking about it you perv.

I love this image so I decided to draw it based on how it looks.

My nerves are so firey.

I feel like most men on this site are frat guys and those are just the most annoying group of people ever. I'm a guy as well, but I never followed through any of that "bro culture" shit. Dont get me wrong, there are some genuinly nice guys on here who are hilarious and witty, but god, sometimes that doesn't feel common. Im always bound to meet a guy who is a fratbro who intentionally tries to make me and other people upset and annoyed. I feel like since then, I mostly rather hang out with women.

Here he is! Millard F. the Mallard... He is the main original character I draw and use constantly throughout Magma, Twitter, etc; and even in real pen and paper. He is sort of a represetation of me and my attitude -- I put myself into the character and him think and act the way I do.
He's a really fun character to draw, and there's a lot of people who seem to really like him to, lol. He's pretty odd, unique, and distinctive in a way it seems.

This isn't my character. This was made randomly for a friend of mine.