Duck doodle and a quick rant.

Lately life has been extremely stressful for me, and it's become harder and harder to push myself. I’m at the age where I still have room to grow, but have to start thinking about my future career and possible colleges. I love art, and writing with all my heart and I love all my characters, but every time I see someone else's art I just feel farther and farther from my dreams and closer and closer to some imaginary nonexistent deadline. I show up to art class and see all these kids my age who can draw like Frida Kahlo or Vincent Van Gogh, and I see my cartoons and feel like I'm behind. I feel like I can no longer show creativity and instead just have to churn out random realistic portraits like everyone else. And then I get online. If i’m self conscious about my traditional work, then i’m ten times more self conscious about my digital art, I know i’m going to have to learn it at some point if I want to make comics, but I see the weird color palettes and my wobbly lineart due to my shaky hands, and I doubt myself. I end up deleting most of what I draw. And then I see some professional artists with gorgeous art and realise they are only 5 or 6 years older than me and panic. Will I have to have art that good in a few years? I just can't take a break, because I spend my entire break feeling like I'm not being productive enough. So let me tell you, I'm going to be trying my best to stop treating art and writing like a future career I need to perfect, and more like ways to express my creativity. I will still probably overthink and panic, but I have people to ground me now. That you to my IRL friend DEMONIC!Olive and my two other IRL friends who don't have magma accounts but who I will be sending a copy of this message to.

mha_nerd
•1mo
boop
•2mo